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Madaling mag-assume na mas outgoing ang mga bata ngayon. Napaka-active nila sa social media kaya kampante lang ang mga parents na sapat ang kanilang self-esteem. What we don’t realize is mayroong mga bago at ibang challenges ang kabataan ngayon sa pakikipag-socialize.
Sabi ni Miel Villaruel, owner at consultant sa BLOOM Speech and Personality Development Center sa Puerto Galera, common sa kanila ngayon ang relationship issues with their online friends.
“Most of them rely heavily on their online friends ‘liking’ and/or commenting on their posts on Facebook. Some worry about not having enough followers on Twitter. Many also place high value on the kind of physical appearance they see on Hollywood actors and music performers,” kwento niya. “There is much approval-seeking in this generation, even when on the outside, teens do or say things like they don’t care what others think.”
Dagdag niya, marami sa mga social approval-seekers have parents that are too busy to talk to their kids regularly.
Teaching social skills
Image from https://www.facebook.com/BloomCenterGalera
Sa BLOOM, tinututuruan sila nila Villaruel na magkaroon ng self- at social confidence by increasing their English communication and problem-solving skills, knowledge of manners and etiquette, pati creative physical expression. Bukod sa dance, art, at music classes, meron pa silang image course on proper posture, modelling, style, at grooming.
“We follow a system based on the theory of social intelligence and its impact on an individual’s success in life,” paliwanag niya.
“In other words, we believe that a socially intelligent and confident person, whether young or old, performs better than the so-called ‘shy type,’ and succeeds fast anywhere.”
May group workshops every summer pero meron ding Academic Performance Program kung saan nagkakaroon ng year-round tutorials at trainings for competitions.
What parents can do
Villaruel says that parents can do a lot to help their kids at home. Merong siyang ilang tips mula sa mga programs nila sa BLOOM kung paano sila magkaroon ng appreciation sa sarili.
1. Guide rather than teach. “Your child will develop individuality and personality on their own,” sabi ni Villaruel. Role ng parents to listen and be supportive, especially when it is best needed.
2. Accept them at their own pace. According to Villaruel, kids develop differently and at different paces regardless of their age. “Some bloom early, others bloom late,” sabi niya. “Be mindful of how you compare them to others whom you think they should emulate. Some comparisons are encouraging, others damaging. Choose to inspire when you’re not sure if comparing will help.”
3. Never overpraise. Iwasan na masyadong maging entitled ang bata later on. Pwede rin maging unhealthy ang kanyang self-image. Challenge them instead to be or do better,” advice niya. “Challenge them to keep improving themselves where it matters – the mind, the heart, and spirit.”
4. Let them get hurt. Gawin mo ito kung gusto mo siyang maging strong inside. “You cannot always protect them. Allow them to fail so that when they win, they will appreciate the triumph better,” sabi ni Villaruel.
5. Love them, regardless. Simple pero mahirap gawin, lalo na kung hindi siya ang pinakamatalino, o pinakamatino. “See their goodness within. And believe in your own goodness, too,” sabi niya. “You will be kinder to them and to yourself.”